Welcome to our second installment of Positive Parenting!

Today I’d like to share the next installment in a series of posts about Special Time, a helpful play technique that can make a world of difference for happier children and families. In my last post I introduced Special Time and discussed an acronym, PRIDE, that summarizes a series of helpful parenting skills to use both in Special Time and in day-to-day life. 

To briefly recap, PRIDE reminds us to:

–Praise appropriate behavior

–Reflect or repeat back appropriate things your child says to show you are listening

–Imitate your child’s play to show your approval of their choices

–Describe your child’s actions

–Enjoy! Demonstrate enjoyment and enthusiasm through your tone of voice, hugs, pats on the back, etc.

For today’s post we’ll be focusing on praise specifically. Praise is one of the most important PRIDE skills because it helps children learn what they’re doing well and remember to continue that behavior in the future.

How to Praise your Child

There are actually two kinds of praise! Unlabeled praise is more general and includes words and phrases like “Thank you!”, “Good job!”, “Excellent,” and “Well done.” Notice that unlabeled praise lets your child know they did a good job but doesn’t tell them exactly what they did well.

Labeled praise is more specific and lets a child know exactly which behavior is being praised. Here’s how we might turn the unlabeled praises above into labeled praises:

Unlabeled Praise                                   Labeled Praise

Thank you!                                                  Thank you for using kind words!

Good job!                                                    Good job putting the cars back in the box!

Excellent.                                                    Excellent job playing gently with your sister!

Well done.                                                  Well done setting the table so quickly!

Because labeled praise lets a child know exactly what they’re doing well, it is often more effective than unlabeled praise for teaching and maintaining appropriate behavior over time. Behaviors that receive a labeled praise tend to be repeated! Labeled praise also adds warmth to the parent-child relationship and builds self-esteem.

As human beings we often tend to focus more on negative events and behaviors. But by deliberately looking for and praising positive behavior throughout the day, parents generally find that negative behaviors naturally decrease as kind, helpful, and positive behaviors increase.

I challenge you to see how many labeled praises you can give in a day, not only to your children, but to spouses, friends, family, and coworkers. Everyone enjoys knowing their efforts are appreciated!

Join us next time as we continue our discussion of the PRIDE skills with Reflect and Imitate. And as always, thank you for reading!

Additional Reading:

What is PCIT? – Official website for PCIT International and Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)

The 5-minute daily playtime ritual that can get your kids to listen better : Life Kit : NPR

Please note that the content of this blog is presented for informational purposes only and does not constitute clinical or medical advice.

Dr. Davis completed his PhD in clinical psychology with a concentration in clinical child psychology at Auburn University. During his time at Auburn he received extensive training in Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT), an evidence-based treatment for families of young children with behavior difficulties. He enjoys helping families of children with behavior difficulties or ADHD improve their relationships and overall functioning and conducts psychoeducational evaluations to assess for concerns such as ADHD, autism, or specific learning disabilities. Dr. Davis is rostered with PCIT International as a PCIT Within Agency Trainer.

To schedule an appointment with Dr. Davis, call 864-239-4110 or complete our New Client form here: Contact Us | Vive Psych