Written by: Haley Pauls, LPC-A, CRC

In light of National Grief Awareness Day on August 30^th, the featured topic for this month’s post is grief. Grief is often thought of in response to the death of a loved one, but can also manifest after the end of a relationship or a transition to a new phase of life. Grief is a natural response to loss. Despite the profound impact that it has on those going through it, many people find it challenging to talk about. Improving our support of ourselves and those around us who are navigating grief comes from awareness, understanding, and acknowledgement.

As with most mental health experiences, grief is not a one-size-fits-all journey; it is highly individualized to the person and context of grief. Many are familiar with the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). Research has introduced a more contemporary model of grief that resonates deeply with many called the Dual Process Model of Grief.

Imagine a pendulum that swings back and forth between two sides. Processing grief for many people looks like moving back and forth between loss-oriented and restoration-oriented phases with periods of balance between. Loss oriented phases include the experience of processing the feelings the accompany grief itself. A loss-oriented phase might include more stereotypical grief tasks such as crying, mourning, isolating, looking through your loved one’s items, or talking about your loved one. Restoration-oriented phases move the griever towards healing through engaging in fun and distracting things. A restoration-oriented phase does not discount the grief, rather it allows the griever to open up to the pleasurable experiences of the world. Often, when people experience a restoration-oriented phase for the first time, it is accompanied by feelings of shame or thoughts like “It’s not fair for me to be enjoying myself without my loved one”. Know that this phase is a part of walking through grief and that it does not make you a bad person to have a good day while grieving loss.

Know that both stages of grief are normal and the swings between them become less pronounced over time. Grief is like a stone in your pocket that never goes away. However, the weight of the stone becomes easier to bear over time. Allow yourself to experience all stages of grief, acknowledge how you feel, and talk about your thoughts and feelings with your support network.

If you are struggling with grief, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Remember that seeking help is not a sign of weakness, rather a show of strength and resilience in taking a step towards healing. Our counselors are ready and willing to assist you in your grief journey.

To schedule an appointment with Haley Pauls, call 864-239-4110 or complete our New Client form here: Contact Us | Vive Psych